Plastic Fantastic

Welcome to the craziest shoes I own. You are here to witness my blue plastic gold studded sling backs from Irregular Choice and they were purchased when I was a mere teenager. They have survived many a wardrobe chuck out because really how can anyone depart with shoes of this calibre? I mean they are blue and they are plastic! Did I also mention the gold studs on the blue plastic BOW? The heel even has a tree like pattern. In short these shoes are legendary.

 

However they had been living in the loft of my Mum’s house for a number of years and only saw the light of day again when I went on that infamous ‘loft shop’ I have told you about before. I knew they were in there and I knew that I needed to decide at some point what to do with them (I even asked friends at work for advice) I got an outstanding ‘keep them’. I think it was the gold studded bow that won them over.

 

So here they now are on my size 4 feet (my feet haven’t grown since I was about 16). I’m wearing them with a powder blue mid length skirt from Miss Selfridge and a V-neck white t-shirt from Zara. My hair started its Wednesday 14^th September life down and was even straightened but by the time I boarded the number 30 bus it was up in its oh so familiar top knot. September sunshine and me just don’t mix. I don’t know about you but I don’t appreciate beads of sweat running down my nose or my back on my way to work or any way to anywhere. It’s not what I signed up for. I say yes to warm weather. I say yes to 20 – 25 degree sunshine. I say no to anything higher. Horses and Men sweat, girls do not.

 

Back to the shoes. I’m not going to tell you that the shoes are digging in and leaving red marks nor will I tell you that wearing plastic shoes on a hot day just equals sweaty feet (yuk). I’m going to ignore that both those things are happening and continue my day (obvs I’ve got flat shoes in my Lulu Guinness tote bag). How Kim K wore those see-through plastic boots the other day I do not know but I do pity those around her when those finally came off. Cue clothes pegs around noses….

 

I will wear these again one day, I might even wear them with socks (I probably won’t because I’m defiKnightley not cool enough) so it’ll be sans socks…..oohh my feet will probably lose weight…..every cloud.

Check Mate

Today's shoes are brought to you via the loft. I hadn't forgotten that I had them but I certainly had neglected them. I loved my loft shopping experience when we had to clear out the loft at my Mums house when she had sold it. These beauties (along with my long lost cuddle lamb aptly named lamby and my BFF) were by far my favourite find. 

Don't even ask me where I found them because if you did my answer would be zero to no clue. I want to say I found them whilst on a glamourous and romantic holiday with my equally handsome husband, but I would be lying to you. In reality I probably bought them in Reading with my Mum. Doesn't quite conjure the same image does it. There was no holiday and there is no husband. There is though these heels, a vintage embroidered kaftan and a glass of wine. What more do I need? Oh yes my friends to hurry the F**K up so I'm not sat in this incredibly busy bar on my ownsome!!!

Remember always wear heels because I said so and I'm sure they are good for your health?! 

Fruit salad

Wedgenesday is back. These red numbers come in black too and yes they have gaping big holes in them. I bought them at The Clothes Show when I was about 16 or 17 (can't remember that far back). I used to drag my poor mother around the NEC each year it was on. My love of the fashion industry started then. Perhaps in hindsight a day to a show that consisted of financial services and the like would have landed me a more fruitful career. My career is more like a rotten nectarine. Throw that away and find something more appealing. 

Here's to Thursday, Friday's very close friend. 

When life gives you lemons....

....don't make lemonade. Ask instead for limes and and make a lime cordial. Lime cordial is traditional and never goes out style. Lemonade will eventually go flat. Don't be flat, be zingy like a lime. 

I got handed a big bunch of lemons on Monday and I'm going back for limes. I'll probably put said limes in a new fruit bowl too. The one they are currently in is too large that they have got lost, they aren't appreciated nor are they valued. Time to find a smaller bowl because let's face it its quality not quantity. I'd rather a small bunch of rare and special limes than a whole lemon tree. 

Today's shoes reflect me:

1. They are a bit old but still look good. 

2. They are gold as is my hair (or it will be on Sunday at around 5pm once I've visited my hairdresser)

3. Bit frayed around the edges equals my Hvar holiday weight (I'm off to the gym tonight so I'll get that sorted)

4. They are comfy and although I'm not a comfort shoes kind of a girl this week I am. (See above for reasons why)

So today's lesson is always be a lime. Green is such a good colour on me too it goes with my Irish green eyes. 

The end. 

It'll be all white

Thought it was time to add an entry to this non-existent blog. I'm wearing my favourite shoes in the world ever with one of my most favourite vintage dresses. You may be surprised that my favourite shoes are white stilettos but if Carrie Bradshaw/SJP can wear them then so I can!

I've just returned from what can only be described as a 'lads on tour' weekend in the one and only Benidorm. Why did you go there I hear you cry? Well I have my dear Aunty Maria and her BFF Jan to blame for that. 12 of us celebrated their 50th birthdays and my god did we celebrate. This is a general list of what happened (it's sensored as what happens on tour stays on tour):

1. 3 of us fell over (I might have been one of them). I blame the heels 

2. We drank our body weight in wine and cava but at 2 euros a go who can really blame us

3. We laughed A LOT, mostly at the expensive of others in the group. 'Roids babes. 

4. We have all mastered the slut drop, even my mum. I'm proud. 

We literally drank and laughed our way through 3 days. We all made friends and we've all decided to do it all again next year. Not Benidorm though, once is quite enough.

Until next time...

Field Work

Hello, I know it's been a while and I know you probably feel let down by me but I can only apologise. Here are the reasons for my absence:

1. I ran out of winter shoes/boots 

2. I lost my WIT a woo. I was just woo. 

3. I started to work for a big corporation 

So my first mistake was point 3, they need to teach this primary school, the corporate world equals bullshit. I'm actively encouraging the word bullshit at primary level. Learn young kids, work is a cow pat. 

Fashion corps (where I spend my days) are all plain sailing until one of your vintage heels sinks into the corporation cow field. The cow pats may be scented with Chanel but beneath the Coco its just a mess. Keep caution and stay on the road. 

Obviously dealing with such is not about wellys, it's about putting on your best heels and holding your Great British head up and wading through. Best of girls, best of. 

In light of the above here are the very heels I wore to the Queens Opening Of State Parliament last Wednesday. Queen Elizabeth would never take anything from

a bull so nor should we. 

Here here 

Stuck in the Middle (East) with you.

Day...Sunday morning 01:18 Abu Dhabi time. 

Location: Abu Dhabi Lounge, Abu Dhabi airport. 

Accessories: glass of champagne and topshop heels. 

Now don't get too excited, this is not me back for good this is me bored and a bit squify in Abu Dhabi airport waiting for my flight back to the homeland. 

Anyone who hadn't experienced the Middle East I urge you to do so. It's ever so glamorous with the right side of opulence. I very much agree with it. Turns out my feet do too as they are now the proud owners of 3 new pairs of shoes. Lucky feet. 

Annual leave

Days 91 & 92

Trainers and ballet pumps respectively. 

I'll be out of the office from day 91 until the forseeable future. Please contact your nearest Topshop or favourite fashion magazine for any shoe updates. 

Vintage obsessed

Day 90:

Zero shoes 

I spent most of the day sorting out my wardrobes. The vintage one is now colour co ordinated and the non-vintage also follows suit. Next stop is the shoes. 

I'm not allowed to buy anymore vintage dresses, I have far too many for one person. The BBC could make a documentary about my vintage dress habit. The vintage hoarder next door. I might be a hoarder but I'm a fabulous hoarder. 

The end. 

Feeling blue

Day 89:

Blue colour block heels from Carvela

As you can see these beauties go with my blue stripe vintage dress. Matching heels with shoes, how novel. 

Worn tonight with 20" pizzas, wine and a busy bar full of boys. Single girls rule. 

Year 11

Day 

Metallic heels from Boohoo

I totally love these but they have had a huge physically fight with my feet. My feet lost. My balls hurt! He he 

Worn today with an economic shirt dress from H&M (it was only £7.99) and a glass of wine accessoorise with a date that refereed to school years as the 4th and 5th years! Years 10 and 11 I said. Hello 40 I'm 33!

Brrrrr

Day 87:

Peep toe heels from Zara

All I can say about these are that my toes are cold so the next time my feet see them it'll be hot outside. 

Brrrrrrr

Home sweet home

Day 86

Red vintage heels 

Bought in a charity shop in Canterbury. I love them but I don't wear them often. Must wear more often, must wear more often. 

They are my Dorothy shoes because let's face it there is no place like home. 

Clever clogs

Day 85

Chanel clogs 

I found these in a charity shop on Highbury Corner for the sun of £26. The best charity shop find I have ever found. 

Worn today with an oversize dress and tired eyes. First day back at work after a 2 week holiday wasn't actually too bad (even if I did sleep through my alarm) oooops! Anyway 650 emails later all was ok. 

Today was also the official launch of my healthy eating diet. When in the Bahamas  I ate most of the food on offer resulting in an extra large presence. These thighs do not belong to me. Gym is now my new boyfriend. I think we will be very happy together. 

Sofa spud

Day 84:

No shoes

Who needs shoes when you're on the sofa all day catching up on Britains Next Top Model. 

Footwear will return tomorrow. 

In the meantime I think I need these in my life....

BFF's

Day 83:

Not wearing any shoes, by me. 

It's cold in London and by rights I should still be by the pool in the Bahamas drinking Bloody Mary's. Instead I've been on the sofa suffering with a cold. My cure has been to eat sandwiches and watch tv, probably my favourite pastime. 

I'm now dreaming on June when I'm off to Benidorm for my fabulous Aunty's birthday so I can wear bare legs and peep toe shoes again accessoried with a vintage dress, naturally. 

Due to me not wearing any shoes today lets make day 83 a dream shoe day. 

Sophia Webster is my best friend. 

Carbs on carbs

Day 82:

Embellished sandals from Zara. 

It's going home day today (saddest of faces) so I thought it best to wear something jazzy on the way home. Plus I haven't worn these for years so they deserve a day out. 

After a week of eating carbs with a side of carbs and an extra portion of carbs I'll be going nil by mouth as soon as the clock strikes midnight on Sunday night. No point in starting at the weekend. I need some marmite on toast. 

Farewell to the Bahamas, you've been fabulous if not a little American. I think they were only 3 of us in the whole of the resort that were British and that was me, mum and my uncle. Keeping it Pembroke/Knightley at all times. 

See you on British soil. 

Feeling fruity

Day 81:

Cartoon print heels. 

These heels have been part of the vast collection for some time. I call them my fun shoes because they are fun. 

They're a perfect height which means I can wear them to work in the summer and out on the weekends. Perfect summer shoe. Well done cartoon shoe. 

Worn this evening on what is our last night in the Bahamas (sad face) with a white dress and crazy fruit carton bag. I've also got slightly red legs and a burnt forehead, nothing that a white wine won't cure. 

Dear Mr Dolcis

Day 80:

White peep toe heels from Dolcis

These are absolutely ancient and have become somewhat of an institution amongst my friends. I used to have them in black too but I think they went to shoe heaven after falling apart. The white ones have survived although they look like they been through a number of wars along the way. They've been re-souled quite a few times and the inner souls are completely ruined. I love them though and I wear them almost every day in the summer. I think even if the heels fall off I'll find a way to fix them. If I were a drunk shoe I would be this one; a bit vintage looking but completely and utterly ruined. 

If I could buy these again I would buy 10 pairs but alas Dolcis is no more. If they are I would beg for them to make these again. Dear Mr Dolcis...

Mary Mary Bloody Mary

Day 79:

Gold sandals 

The sun is still shining her in paradise. 

Shoes worn today with vintage swimming costume, a Bloody Mary in hand and the loyal top knot. 

Sunny side up

Day 78:

Cath Kidson flip flops. 

3rd day in The Bahamas and the sun has got his hat on!!!! It's been hot hot hot. I've even sunbathed (not the face though). It's been glorious.

I have though eaten my body weight in food over the last 3 days so much so that I don't think I'll need to eat for the rest of this year. I enjoy an all inclusive holiday my thighs, tummy, hips and even arms would beg to differ. Might need to inform BA that my body has doubled in size and I'll be needing a whole row just for my hips. Nil by mouth as soon as I hit British soil. If you see me with anything other than lettuce call the police. 

I do

Day 77:

Pool sliders from Topshop

Second day in the Bahamas and the weather has marginally improved. We have moved from the lobby to outside. Currently sat by the pool drinking wine. What else is there to do? 

About 30 minutes ago I got a marriage proposal from the barman. Naturally I said yes because let's face it I'm 33 and the only boyfriend I have is my imaginary one. Mum's fine with it because she's also fallen in love, his name is Gorden and he loves tonic. I'm just glad it's not that bloke called Jack who she used to knock about with. When Mum and Mr Daniels get together it is pure carnage. They don't sell Jack Daniels in the Bahamas do they??!! 

Marilyn Monroe moment

Day 76 (day 1 in the Bahamas):

Gold trim pool sliders from ASOS

So here I am in The Bahamas staying on Paradise island. One of 700 islands that makes up the Bahamas (only around 28 are inhabited). Paradise island lives up to its name because it's beautiful. The sun is out but so is the wind, it's pretty much gale force. So windy in fact that whilst walking down to the beach my skirt (front at back) blew up showing one very surprised man all and sundry. His face told a thousand words and none of those words looked complementary. Poor man he looked more horrified than me. 

After that somewhat embarrassing moment there was only only thing for it. Rum punch. The measures here are Irish so I'm pretty happy. Who needs a sun tan anyway?! 

Pearly whites

Day 75:

White cut out shoe boots from Boohoo

As you can see these have hardly been worn. They are so stark I need sunglasses to look at them. They need a county walk pronto. Someone show them some mud, rain and general wear and tear. I need them scuffed up. They'll get picked on for being brand new. Save the cut out boots. 

Worn with the same vintage dress as yesterday (shhh don't tell anyone) it's major comfy so perfect for a God knows long plane journey to the Bahamas. Did I mention I'm going to the Bahamas? No? Oh I'm going to the Bahamas!!!! He he 

What a 'Carrie' on

Day 74:

Gold trim heels from ASOS

These are a version of Carrie's shoes in the opening scene of the first Sex and The City film so I had to have them. When I grow up I will be Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie's are considerably more expensive but if she can wear them then I can wear the high street version. 

They are worn today with a newly highlighted blonde barnet, red vintage sweater dress and an early night. The Bahamas is calling and I'm picking up the phone at 5am tomorrow! Going on holiday is such hard work....

These boots are made for walking

Day 73:

Boots from Dune. 

Everyone needs a pair of flat knee high boots. If you don't have any go forth and buy. They suited my day perfectly. A trip to Canterbury for lunch with a very dear friend and her lovely lovely children and dinner in Paddington with my bestie. Perfection of a day. 

These are simply warn with freezing cold weather. Brrrrr

Open the Dior

Day 72 (my 33rd birthday) 

Christian Diors heels. 

I bought these in the Harrods sale back in January 2008. They are the most expensive shoes I own which is why they are sharing my 33rd birthday. 

I'm wearing them with a vintage dress, Italian wine and good food. If Dior did birthdays it would look like today. Thank you to my wonderful mother for the best birthday ever. It was perfect and I even got home for Silent Wirness!!

This entry is for my Mum. Without her I wouldn't me be. 

Postage stamp

Day 71:

Navy blue vintage heels. 

Today I became an official grown up because I went to see a mortgage broker. Yes ladies and gents I'm ready to buy bricks and mortar. This kind of grown up behaviour requires a vintage dress and lady like heels. 

I think though I'll need to buy 2 flats one for me and one for my shoes. Heels with a postcode, that's how I roll. 

Tea in the afternoon

Day 70:

Peep toe shoe boots from Primark

I think these were free from my Primark buying days. Got to love a freebie. The only benefit of working in fashion. It's certainly not the money that keeps me in the industry. Luckily I like peanuts because that's all I get paid. 

Boots worn with Autumnal stripe vintage dress, a few wines and a tummy full of Fortnum & Mason afternoon tea. 

Oldies but goodies

Day 69:

River Island cut out heels 

These are golden oldies and need to be worn a lot more. Worn tonight with a lace vintage maxi dress, fur coat and a very cold glass of wine. Bliss. 

Happy weekend 

Body snatcher.

Day 68:

Black slip on trainers from Topshop

Today I went to work in the most casual outfit I have ever warn. I mean I wore trainers to work...trainers. I think the best thing to do is never speak of this again, particularly as I wore said shoes with jeans and a white sweatshirt! I know what you're thinking, who I am and what have I done with Laura Knightley. I can promise you it won't happen again. Just please don't tell anyone. 

Plain Jane

Day 67:

Mary Janes; Kate Moss 1st Topshop Collection 

These are at the top. Part of the elite. Out of the whole collection these reign supreme. The don of heels. 

Worn with a vintage 80's dress and a glass of trebbiano, my new favourite wine.  

Happy heely the weekend 

If men were shoes

Day 66:

Wedges from Forever 21

Yes it's the return of Wedgenesday. 

I somewhat cautiously put these wedges on this morning after the last time I wore wedges. Luckily I didn't end up face down on the pavement this time. That was both painful and embarrassing! 

These are much easier to walk in and are therefore much kinder to my poor feet I believe the pair I fell over in are in fact all my ex-boyfriends reincarnated into a hideous pair of shoes. Get rid. My feet deserve way better. 

Record player

Day 66:

River Island boots 

Guess what? I've had these for ages. Going to wear them again. Broken record. In fact the record is shattered. Must wear my shoes more often. Must throw some out. Blah blah blah. Boring. Keeping them all is much more fun. 

Oh guess what again? Today I didn't food cheat. No donuts were consumed in the making of this day. No chocolate ether. I have 4 fun sized Bounty bars in my desk drawer. They call my name each day but I ignore them because my hips don't like them and I don't cause an argument, that would just be awkward. 

However as they are bite size AND they are leftover from Christmas they probably don't count. Plus, a bit like Christmas decorations, I'm sure it's bad luck to leave any Christmas bought chocolates and being half Irish I can't have bad luck. Hello Bounty chocolates. 

How jammy

Day 65:

T-bar heels from Topshop

These are extremely old and as you can see have hardly been worn. They nearly got chucked out a year ago but I decided to save them.

Obviously clean eating started again today and lasted fairly well...until around 10.40 when raspberry jam donuts joined the formal tops and dresses teams. I was in a vulnerable situation when I was offered one. I had only eaten half my granola (I got bored of it) and had my teeth out (aka Invislign braces) so all the right elements for a lovely sugary donut. I enjoyed it and didn't regret it one bit, even though I had to run 35 mins to burn it off. Still don't care, it was so yum and very raspberry jammy. 

Better luck tomorrow. 

No show

Day 64:

No shoes from me. 

As we say at work in AB/BAA trade when there's nothing to present..'nothing to show'. When you're sat on the sofa for most of the day you don't need shoes. However before you right me off as a lazy so and so I did run 5 miles in the morning and you've already seen my trainers!

As there aren't of my own shoes to show I'll post some from Nicolas Kirkward that I would love to own. 

FYI my birthday is 8 days.

Club foot

Day 63:

Studded clog type heels. Forever 21, bought in L.A

Had these a while. I bought them when I was in L.A visiting my lovely friend Vic who still resides in America with her lovely brood and hubby. I saw them and to have them. They look a bit like club feet but its all about the 70's so club feet are all the rage! 

Worn with the now famous vintage maxi dress and a day of food of wine with my fabulous Mum. What Saturday's are made of. Happy weekend. 

SJP rules

Day 62:

Mono heels. Source Unknown (basically forgotten) 

These were bought on a holiday in Europe somewhere. They look very Eurotrash but I don't care coz I love 'em. I think Sarah Jessica Parker would wear these. No actually Carrie would wear these. Both are my style icons. I want to be either one of them when I grow up. Should probably stop eating chips first then I'll look like her too! Note to self eat lettuce in February (January is a right off)

These heels are worn with a Friday night outfit and a large glass of Friday night outness. Me and the mono's are out out!!!

Chanelo

Day 61:

Chanel ballet pumps. 

Before you ask yes these are real. However they are 2nd hand, I'm not made of money. If only I was though. I'd have ears made of £5 notes and my legs would be £50 notes coz they are quite big. My arms of course tenners. The rest of me £20 notes. I would of course own a money tree. 

Day 4 of 'clean' eating included a nandos. Chicken is healthy. I did run 6k so the chips and pitta didn't even happen. I should probably be a nutritionist. 

Magic key

Day 60:

Block heels from Clarks

These are the first pair of Clarks shoes I've had since I was at Primary school and then it was all about the magic key shoes. 

Day 3 of clean eating comprised of bread, food I vowed to never eat again. However when the clock stikes midday nothing can come between me and a sandwich. My hips say no but my stomach says 'make it a doorstop' and you should always go with your gut. 

Bounty hunter

Day 59:

Stripe heels from Faith 

Those of you who have known me since school and uni may recognise these heels. I used to wear them a lot. I rescued them from the loft a couple of years ago and I'm jolly glad I did. I rather like them. 

Day 2 of the healthy eating went well today. That is if you count two fun size bountys and half a packet of quavers as clean eating. In my defence I needed them. Better luck tomorrow...

Taking a 'leaf' out of a diet book.

Day 58:

Green heels with blue polka dots from Topshop

I had these since forever and have barely worn them. After today though I'm not going to neglect them any longer. Poor little polka dot heels. 

Today these were worn with tired back to work eyes and a very hungry tummy. Day 1 of the healthy eating plan began this morning and I've never been so hungry. Damn green eating, it 'leaves' me hungry. 

Double vintage

I'm Day 57:

Black and purple vintage heels. 

I went to The Woseley this morning for breakfast and thought that in itself meant it was vintage heels o'clock. Although these heels are a little too small for me I thought I'd give them a day out for being so patient. They've been under my bed for years. Poor heels. They had a great time at breakfast, here there are on the Art Deco floor. Cue the charleston.