When it rains it’s just water

Dear Diary,

Sorry it’s been a while since we last spoke. I hope all is well. My abscence is due to me having a somewhat boring busy life. When we last spoke I had seen a ghost turn into a man, I know I couldn’t believe it either! He still not a ghost,  now he’s a cave man. You know those times when you see he’s on line but hasn’t read your message? Or those times when he has time to change his profile picture but no time to send a message? That my friend is called ‘he’s gone into his cave and might be a while’. Now I used to spend a lot of time sitting outside the cave waiting endlessly for him to come outside. As you can imagine that was quite boring and a complete waste of ones time. Nowadays I take a stroll, check out some other caves, might go in, might not. Might just chat at the front door for a bit and then move on. Sometimes I leave cave street altogether, there are way better places to be. Plus it can get very cold amongst those caves, it’s all that stone! Brrr and cold doesn’t usually go with my outfit. 

Yesterday my head of buying noticed that my shoes for once matched my dress which matched my headband (very Dutchess) that was until I told her that I was wearing my Dad’s army jacket from circa 1974 over said outfit that she realised I’ll never full match. 

I had to wear tights yesterday because for some reason someone has turned the heating off in this county and left the tap running. Imagine the water bill next month! I’m glad I’m not paying. 

After a long drought (36 years and counting) I’m still single even if I am trying to date a caveman. It just goes to show that when it rains it doesn’t actually pour.

Ta-ra for now 

Laura x 

Ring Ring

Dear Diary,

.........................................................................................Sorry my land line rung, it was was my overly strappy, low heeled Dune shoes from 2001. They are upset because they are back in vogue and I threw them out with my Babe t-shirt from Pilot. Welcome to ghosting darling.They are upset because I’ve bought these from topshop:

Ring 

They feel they have been replaced by younger model who I spent more money on. I like them more too. They are snakeskin for Gods sake, how can you compete. They are getting on well with my new Topshop dress.Another day, another print clash. Welcome to wardrobe.

Speaking of blasts from the past, the man who invented ghosting became a human and I liked it. 

Until the next time we meet 

Laura x 

Walking on shells

Dear Diary,

Look at this, two days on the trot, people will talk! I had to write today because I love the shoes im wearing, they are like family. These embroidered raffia block heels get so many compliments I’m surprised I can get my size four feet inside them. No one likes a show off. Look at them taking company with my vintage print inspired SHEIN dress. I see them courting well. 

Tonight I am going out with a ghost. Remember when I told you about ghosting well tonight I’m going out with a man that invented the term. I hear you saying why? I answer with ‘if ghosts are in fact real I want to be the one who proves it’. Sometimes in life you have to be the one that does what others won’t.  Plus it’s a few free pinots on a Friday night and we all know that the fashion industry only pays peanut shells. Good job I like nuts. 

God has wished me speed.

Laura x 

It’s not snowing so don’t settle

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I’ve not written for a while I’ve been busy wearing uninteresting shoes and staying in sohaven’t had any tales to tell. I hope you can further forgive me for showing you a pair of shoes you have already seen. Oldies are goodies though. 

As you can see they look completely different than last time. This time I’ve partnered them up with a chain print dress from Zara. I think they get on really well BUT let’s remember partnerships are there to enhance and not forfill. The leopard print kitten heels can totally live by themselves and doesn’t need the dress to define them. The heels hold their own and do all the talking. They also won’t partner up with just any old dress, they need to be the right one and are more than happy to wait. Leopard print kitten heel mules don’t settle!!! 

Let’s see what tomorrow brings...

Laura x 

Number 19

Dear Diary,

Let’s continue enjoying the time machine we bought. There’s no point wasting it, particularly in this climate. It’s Sunday today but let’s dress it up and pretend it’s Friday again. If we could bottle that sweet smell and euphoric feeling that Friday at 5.30 gives us we could buy an Islington townhouse tomorrow at approx. 9.30am but we can’t so let’s regroup.  As I write this I’m on the tube home after a mildly boozy Sunday lunch and it makes me nostalgic for said Friday night...

It started with me having no idea on what to wear (I was going out that night) the weather had turned from Mediterranean to Icelandic over night and what I had planned in my head did not accessorise well with rain and chilly temperatures. So Iopted with shoes with heels that match a glass of wine and a red geo printed dress, all from SHEIN. 

It was one of those evenings that didn’t turn out as one had intended. A suggested civilised dinner disguised itself as me getting home at 2.30am. I needed a good night out to let my hair down and allow myself to be spoken to by the opposite sex that weren’t the 1 diamensial ones I often saw on my iPhone screen. The fact that the men in question were not a available for a future life didn’t matter,  it was still to be approached. In a pub. In London. 

Like all amazing grandparents, mine would always say ‘men are like buses, you wait for one and three come at once’. How true that is of last week. I had the ghost of dating past, the ghost of we’ve never actually met before but we have spoken on text a lot’ and the ghost of furure dating disappointment all influlate my WhatsApp. Being the girl I am that enjoys all that is vintage is more intrigued by the dating past ghost. Let’s go another round and if it doesn’t work out I’ve got a monthly travel card so I can always wait for another bus....

See you soon 

Laura x 

Time Machine

Dear Diary,

Let’s pretend that today is yesterday and I’m stillwearing these leopard print heels with this vintage style print dress.

Remember last week when I told you that I had loads of boyfriends at school and I would discuss it with you another time, well maybe this is the time considering it’s yesterday and not today. During the ages of 12 to 16 I had a lot boyfriends. Itwas my golden age but once I hit 17 the gold had turned to a rusty silver. Winter had arrived. 

 

I ask myself what did I had at school that I don’t have know? Maybe it’s standards but I would rather be single than settle for a Volvo. I’ve never enjoyed driving anyway. I get the bus, much more fun. 

I’ve spent the last few days wading through Bumble, Happn and Hinge. Nothing happened so I’ve buzzed off and closed the door before I get my fingers trapped. 

Back to the future, I’m going to try and get chatted up in a real life bar by a real life boy and see if that works. Wish me luck. I’ll let you know how it goes. 
God speedLaura x 

No more bugs

Dear Diary,

I don’t know about you but this so called four day week has felt like it’s been in disguise. I woke up this morning and thought it was Saturday, how could it still be w/c 6th May and I had another full day to get through. Four day week by derrière.

Since we last spoke I told you of my rejection dream, luckily I’ve not had another one since (fingers crossed this continues). In this vien I have been trying not to be single forever by playing hot or not on my various (free) dating apps (I won’t pay for love) but alas all have been ‘not’. Where Hinge would have normally promised a decent looking chap in his 30’s (tall, handsome and v dark please) it now only shows me the complete opposite. It needs an App Store update but not for bug fixes for ‘more hot men needed as Laura is still a statistic’ fix. If I stay on this shelf for much longer I will become institionalised and I’m quite dusty alresdt. At least my shelf is vintage and not made of MDF, imagine the splinters! It’s not the kind of wood I’m looking for. 

Look at my shoes! They are my favourite because I wear them all the time. I love a print clash so I’m matching them up with this vintage red geo skirt it looks like the perfect partnership. At least my shoes and clothes are in a couple. It might be time for a visa marriage.

Speak soon 

Laura x 

Wake up

Dear Diary,

Last week we talked about ghosting this weeks topic is rejection. Most people we know would have been rejected at some point in their life, thosethat haven’t we don’t talk to. This won’t come asa huge shock to you but I have had a good amount of rejection in my 36 years (apart from when at school when I had loads of boyfriends but we will talk about that another time) in my adults years I have become a conisour of rejection. Its even crept into my dreams. Let me give you some background detail on this particular case.

During the winter of 2006/7 the biggest trend was to have a boyfriend so being an avid fan of the fashion industry, I had to get one. In my head he was very much in vogue but in reality he was just very tall and had the personality of a chair. After a year and a half of our version of a relationship he decided to exit stage left. I called it a broken heart, he probably called it escapism. 

It took me a while to get over it but obviously one day I woke up and the thought of him made my skin crawl. This was bad enough to deal with all those years ago so please tell me why I now dream of him rejecting me again! In this dream we talk of getting back together but then he never texts me (how familiar) he eventually tells me, he’s not really into me. That’s fine, I’m not into you either, go away.  I literally wake up in a cold sweat. This is the definition of a nightmare. Gabriella once sang ‘Dreams can come true’ she obviously never dreamt of her boring ex boyfriend ghosting her. 

Today, to cheer me up, I wore my favourite and most worn boots ever with a tassel dress. I look after these boots, they have been to the cobblers a few times, I won’t let them reject me. 

Off to dream about ponies and sandwiches. 

See you soon

Laura x 

Fancy dress

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I wore some white boots (New Look) with a grey knitted dress (H&M) My bag is Lulu Guinness and the scarf Moschino.

After Monday’s entry when I told you all about ghosting so I thought I would take my dating disaster as my inspiration for said outfit. I’m not scared, are you? Miss Haversham looked like a ghost for many years and she was loaded. I believe that when Charles Dickens wrote Miss Haversham he was also able to look into the future and witnessed my own ghosting and from there Lady H was born. One major difference though, she got to wear the wedding dress, she got to walk down ‘the aisle’, ok she didn’t get the marriage afterwards but at least the thought was there. The only aisle I walk down is the one in M&S that sells sandwiches and as much as I love their club sandwich I’m not sure it’ll marry me. 

So let’s not look at Miss H in sorrow the women got asked by a real life man to marry her. The jilt is mearly detail. Ok ok the man wanted her money only but you know at least he asked! Also, wedding dresses are rather pricey so why not wear it forever, think of the cost per wear and by all accounts it was a very nice dress. Look at he positives Miss H, at least you got asked I can’t even get a text back. You might look like a ghost but I’m the queen of ghosting! 

With that in mind it time to download tinder again, wish me luck. 

Until next time 

Laura x  

Boo

Dear Diary,

Today I wore blue and pink polka dot kitten heels and teamed them with a utility jumpsuit. As you can I’m wearing an anklet too which is very old school but very much in vogue. I don’t know if you remember but they used to be associated with being a lady of the night..I mean I’ve had a slow year so far so you know if the shoe fits.....

I’m still single but now as I’m 36 I am considered a relic. I live in a display cabinet in the National History Museum. I can get you a discount on tickets if you want to see me? Let me know. 

There is this new term now re dating that I didn’t tell you about before. I have quite a bit of experience in it too, I’m somewhat of an expert. It’s called ghosting. The irony is I don’t even believe in gauls yet I keep getting haunted. It only happened less than a week ago, at first I thought something was wrong with my phone, perhaps WhatsApp was on the blink but after receiving a number of messages from my mother it all became clear, the ghost has striked again. One day it was constant the next day ‘boo’. 

From this day forth I will be the lady with all the kitten heels.

See you tomorrow 

Laura x